carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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