after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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