Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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