Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
