Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
