and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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