He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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