The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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