Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize