hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
