I CAN MOONWALK!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
