There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
