He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize