Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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