i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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