Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
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I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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