ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
