The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
