Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
