Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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