I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
