Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
