I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
