perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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