I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
