We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize