I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
