It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
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Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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