She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
