Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
