drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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