i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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