Non-Jews are for practice
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
