is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
