Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
