My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
