I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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