Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize