In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
