We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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