I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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