You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
