Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
MIDGETS
????
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize