Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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