Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
