I wanna bring you to show and tell
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
