she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
