You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize