so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
