"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
