I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His hands were made for my vagina.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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