I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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