Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
