Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize