the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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