All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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