I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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