small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
