He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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