The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
