Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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